Between them they only had a single pair of trunks
Why were the two elephants thrown off the beach?
Between them they only had a single pair of trunks.
(Were, Thrown, Beach, Between, Them, They, Only, Single, Pair)
Gorilla Control
A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because there is a crazed gorilla
on his roof, and he can't figure out how to get it down safely. Soon, a van
pulls up, and an old man gets out, carrying a small dog, a baseball bat, and a
gun. He hands the man the gun.
"Okay, here's what we do. I'm going to go up onto your roof, and threaten the
gorilla with this baseball bat until he falls down. When he falls down, this
little dog will bite him in the balls until he's incapacitated."
"Great," says the man. "But what's the gun for?"
"In case I fall down instead of the gorilla - shoot the dog."
(Animal, Control, Town, Because, There, Gorilla, Roof, Figure, Down, Soon, Small, Baseball, Okay, Here, What, Onto, Your, Threaten, With, This, Until, When, Little, Will, Bite, Great, Case, Fall, Instead, Shoot)
Birdie Poem
Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
(Birdie, Birdie, Some, White, Stuff, Girl, Just, Glad, That)
Brave Pig
A farmer was in the pub bragging about his pig. "That animal saved my life twice," he said. "Once I fell into the river and he jumped in and dragged me to the bank. Another time my house caught on fire and he ran in and saved me, the wife and kids."
The farmer passes around a picture of the miraculous animal. One of the guys notices the pig is missing a leg.
"Which accident did the pig lose its leg in?" he asks.
"Neither. An animal like that you don't eat all at once!"
(Bragging, About, That, Animal, Life, Twice, Said, Once, Fell, Into, River, Bank, Another, Time, House, Caught, Fire, Wife, Around, Picture, Miraculous, Which, Accident, Lose, Neither, Like, That, Once)
Cow Reflexes
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef Jerky!
(What, Call, With, Twitch, Beef, Jerky)
Chicken ain't chicken
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause he freakin' felt like it!
(Chicken, Cross, Road, Cause, Felt, Like)
Big Pink Gorilla!
One day in the middle of the desert a man's car breaks down.
He sees a gas station about 5 minutes away, so he pushes his car to the gas
station. Six hours and lots of money later, the man's car is fixed, but night is
falling. The man asks the mechanic, "Hey, where is the nearest hotel?"
The mechanic replies, "No hotel here, but about 100 miles down the road you'll
see there's a room under the cactus there. But what ever you do don't touch the
big pink gorilla."
The man drives to the cactus. He opens a door and shuts it behind him, finds
another door and shuts it behind him, then he finds a third door and shuts it
behind him.
Lo and behold he sees a big pink gorilla in the room. The gorilla is docile
and looks so cute and soft he's dying to touch it. He can't help himself. He
walks over to the cage and starts trying to touch him through the bars.
As soon as the man lays a finger on him, the big pink gorilla freaks out. He
beats his chest and rips his cage door clean off.
The man runs for his life. He opens the first door, slams it behind him. Opens
the second door, slams it behind him. The man hear a crash as he opens the third
door and slams it behind him.
The man hears a roar. He runs to the car, opens the door and shuts it. He
locks all the doors and starts the car, as he sees the big pink gorilla racing
towards him.
The big pink gorilla rips the car door off his car.The man thinks he's going
to faint.
The gorilla pokes the guy and says, "Tag you're it!"
(Middle, Desert, Down, About, Away, Money, Later, Night, Mechanic, Where, Nearest, Hotel, Here, Miles, Road, There, Room, Under, Cactus, What, Touch, Pink, Gorilla, Door, Behind, Another, Then, Third, Behold, Docile, Cute, Soft, Dying, Help, Himself, Over, Cage, Through, Soon, Finger)
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