Turn back your car odometer
A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.
The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."
"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."
"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."
The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.
About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"
"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."
(Blonde, Made, Several, Sell, Buyer, Because, Miles, Problem, With, Brunette, That, There, Chance, Legal, That, Able, This, Quiet, Voice, Told, Here, Address, Friend, Mine, Shop, Around, Here, Tell, Sent, Will, Turn, Back, Your, Then, Weekend, Took, Trip, Mechanic, Advice, About, Month)
3 blondes jump off a building ...
Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?
They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
(Jump, They, Their)
Catch Again
After a long night, the blonde asks her friend: "Say, do you have AIDS?".
"NO!", the guy answers firmly, "Of course not!"
"Oh, thatâs good", replies the blonde, "I don't wanna catch it again".
(Long, Night, Blonde, Friend, Have, Course, Good, Catch, Again)
What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?
What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
(What, Blond, Grenade, Pull, Throw, Back)
How do you break a blonde's nose?
How do you break a blonde's nose?
Place a dildo under a glass table!
(Break, Blonde, Nose, Place, Under, Glass, Table)
Blonde lumberjack
This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job.
"Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best.
She came back sweating like a pig. "Christ, how many trees did you cut down?" asked the foreman.
"6" she replied.
"What!? You have to do beter than that. Get up earlier tommorow." The foreman said. So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted.
'How many this time?" asked the foreman.
"12" she said.
The foreman says, "That does it. I'm coming out there with you tommorow morning."
The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, "This is how to cut down trees really quickly." He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUM. He notices the blonde is looking at him frantically. So he asks her what's wrong. She replies, "What the hell is that?"'
(This, Blonde, Woman, Went, Canada, Seek, Fortune, Lumberjack, Logging, Give, Hope, Expect, Down, Least, Told, This, Problem, With, Best, Came, Back, Like, Christ, Many, What, Have, Than, That, Said, Night, Time, That, There, Next, First, Tree, Rope, Loud, What, Wrong, Hell)
The blonde test taker
A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.
"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."
(Blonde, Final, Exam, Which, True, False, Seat, Examination, Hall, Question, Paper, Five, Then, Inspiration, Purse, Coin, Answer, Sheet, Within, Thirty, Done, Whereas, Rest, Class, Still, During, Last, Seen, What, Half, Hour)
|
 |
|
 |
|
