I Have Sinned
While the Pope was in St. Louis he decided to grant absolution to three
sinners. The first person to come up was O.J. Simpson. The Pope asked,
"What is your sin?" "I stabbed two people to death."
The Pope replied, "Kneel down. I'll bless you and grant you absolution."
Next in line was Bill Clinton.
"What was your sin, son?"
"I cheated on my wife." The Philanderer in Chief replied.
"Kneel down, my son. I'll bless you and grant you absolution."
A third person came up and the Pope asked,
"What is your name?"
"Monica Lewinsky."
The Pope stroked his chin. "Hmmmm. Perhaps you should remain standing."
(While, Pope, Louis, Grant, Absolution, Three, First, Person, Come, Simpson, What, Your, People, Death, Kneel, Down, Bless, Next, Line, Bill, Clinton, Wife, Chief, Third, Came, Name, Monica, Chin, Perhaps, Should)
Clinton got a shot of testosterone
Q: What happened when Bill Clinton got a shot of testosterone?
A: He turned into Hillary!
(What, When, Bill, Clinton, Shot, Testosterone, Into)
Women in Washington
When women in Washington DC were asked if they would have sex with the
President, 86% said "Not again."
(When, Women, Washington, Were, They, Would, Have, With, Said, Again)
President Clinton?
"Remember President Clinton? He had to go to London over there to pick up
another quarter of a million dollar speaking fee. And he had to fly commercial
for the first time, and I am thinking 'Wait a minute? Isn't that a violation of
his parole?'" -David Letterman
"It would be funny if it wasn't so sad - getting off the plane. See Clinton,
he thinks that he is on Air Force One, so he gets off the plane and out of force
of habit, he steals the pillows and the earphones and the chairs and the flight
attendant and the landing gear and the cockpit and the lavatory and the
in-flight movie and the flaps and the vertical stabilizers, the reverse
thrusters." -David Letterman
"Clinton flew to Europe yesterday to give a series of lectures. Hey, wouldn't
it be great for revenge if while the Clintons were out of town the Bushes snuck
into their house in Chappaqua and stole all the furniture back?" -Jay Leno
(Remember, President, Clinton, London, Over, There, Pick, Another, Million, Dollar, Commercial, First, Time, Wait, Minute, That, Parole, David, Letterman, Would, Funny, Getting, Plane, Force, Force, Habit, Flight, Attendant, Gear, Cockpit, Lavatory, Movie, Vertical, Reverse, Flew)
Bad Tripp
What did Clinton say the night after the Lewinsky story broke?
What A Bad Tripp.
(What, Clinton, Night, Story, Broke)
Clinton's clock
Bill Clinton is sitting next to a 19-year-old White House intern one day at a
gathering. The President says to her, "Would you like to come to the Oval Office
and see my clock?"
She says, "No, Mr. President, I don't think so".
The President replies, "Please, I'd really like to show it to you."
"No, Mr. President, I really can't."
"Come on. Come and see my clock. It'll only take a minute."
"All right. If it won't take long.", replied the intern.
They go to the Oval Office. The President sits down, unzips his pants, and
pulls out his penis.
The intern says, "Mr. President! That's not a clock, it's a cock!!!"
The President replies, "Well, you're right, but if you put two hands and a
face on it, it's a clock."
(Bill, Clinton, Sitting, Next, Year, White, House, Intern, President, Would, Like, Come, Oval, Office, Clock, Think, Please, Show, Come, Only, Take, Minute, Right, Long, They, Down, Penis, That, Cock, Well, Face)
Best way to kill Clinton.
Q: What is the best way to kill Clinton????
A: Give him something that reads:
DO NOT INHALE.
(What, Best, Kill, Clinton, Give, Something, That, Inhale)
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