Latest scandalous revelations about a Hollywood
Two friends were discussing the latest scandalous revelations about a
Hollywood actress. "They say she likes her latest husband so much she's decided
to keep him for another month," said one to the other.
(Were, Latest, Scandalous, About, Hollywood, Actress, They, Husband, Much, Keep, Another, Month, Said, Other)
RIDING BIKES
It was the first day of the school year, and an elementary teacher was trying
to get to know her students.
"What did you do this summer?" the teacher asked Suzie.
"I and my family went to the beach a lot," Suzie answered.
"That sounds like fun," said the teacher. "How about you, Emma? What did you
do this summer?"
"I and my family rode our bikes together."
"That sounds lovely," said the teacher. She continued with all her pupils
until she got to shy Mike in the corner of the room.
"What did you do this summer, Mike?"
"Nothing," the boy responded timidly.
"Did you do anything with your family?" the teacher asked, trying to draw Mike
out.
"Yes."
"Did you go to the beach?"
"No."
"Did you ride bikes?"
"No, never!" the boy burst out. "We can never ride bikes together!"
"Why not?" said the shocked teacher.
"I don't know," explained Mike, "but dad always said, when then mom and sis
start 'cycling together', it's time to get the hell out of town."
(First, School, Year, Elementary, Know, What, This, Summer, Family, Went, Beach, That, Like, Said, About, Emma, Rode, Together, Continued, With, Until, Mike, Room, Nothing, Anything, Your, Draw, Ride, Never, Burst, Always, When, Then, Start, Time, Hell, Town)
Pack of cards.
Little brother: Look, Sis, I've got a pack of cards.
Big sister: Big deal!
(Little, Brother, Look, Pack, Sister, Deal)
DATE NIGHT
This guy has four daughters who all live at home. One Friday night the
doorbell rings. The guy answers it and a kid standing there says, "Hi, I'm
Freddy. I'm here to pick up Betty. We're gonna go eat spaghetti. Is she ready?"
The man, mildly amused calls down his daughter and the two leave.
A few minutes later the doorbell rings again and he answers. A kid standing
there says, "Hi, I'm Jim. I'm here to see Kim. We're gonna go for a swim. Can I
come in?"
The guy, now perplexed, says, "Yes," and the two take off.
A few minutes later the doorbell rings and again the father answers. A kid
standing there says, "Hi, I'm Joe. I'm here to pick up Flo. We're gonna go to
the show. Can she go?"
The man, now kind of annoyed, says, "Yes." The two depart.
Sure enough, a few minutes later the door rings and the father answers. A kid
standing there says, "Hi, I'm Chuck..."
The father shot him.
(This, Four, Live, Home, Friday, Night, Doorbell, There, Freddy, Here, Pick, Betty, Spaghetti, Ready, Down, Daughter, Leave, Later, Again, Swim, Come, Take, Father, Show, Kind, Depart, Sure, Enough, Door, Chuck, Shot)
Facing Bloomingdale's
Q: What's a Jewish American Princess's favorite position?
A: Facing Bloomingdale's.
(What, Jewish, American, Princess, Position)
Sleeping alone
The wife and her little son come back from a health resort.
The wife tells the husband:
"But only fancy, I met such interesting people, such fascinating
interlocutors! I, for example, got acquainted with an Admiral."
The son mutters:
"The Admiral - Admiral, he is afraid of sleeping alone!"
(Wife, Little, Come, Back, From, Health, Resort, Husband, Only, Fancy, Such, People, Example, With, Admiral, Afraid, Alone)
Man ill-treating a donkey.
My dad once stopped a man ill-treating a donkey.
It was a case of brotherly love.
(Once, Donkey, Case, Love)
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